It's finally Christmas

I have a tree, it's officially Christmas at my house (it's not decorated yet, but it soon will be!).

Getting this tree was not an easy task. Read this for the story, then see the pictures below.

[I'll wait....]
[drumming fingers]
[humming "Oh I wish I Were an Oscar Meyer Weiner"] (no, I don't know why!)

Ready?

This is the tree, in all its glory

In order for the tree not to spill into the middle of the living room it is squished into the wall.



And the best part? Making it look somewhat straight. We've got 7 magazines, 2 videos, a folded piece of paper and a CD.



Thank you Three Dog Night! I never knew just how much you rocked!

I've been WHAT??

HappyTam tagged me (although, I didn't know that)...and here's how it works:
A. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.
B. Each player lists 6 little-known facts/habits about themselves.
C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1. I make stuff up
I don't know why, I just do...it usually gets a laugh and I like to make people laugh. Now, there's a fine line between "making stuff up" and "lying." I do not lie...I make stuff up!

2. The snake bite is healing well
I was in the backyard a few weeks ago when I felt a stinging on my ankle. At first I didn't think much about it and went on with what I was doing, then I felt it again. This time I looked down to find a snake coiled near my foot. S/He had bit me twice through my sock and the venom worked pretty quickly but everything is fine now. (see how I did that?)

3. I'm dying to do THIS
http://www.aspenseals.com/

4. TAR
I'm fairly obsessed with The Amazing Race. I have watched every season and have applied once and am planning on applying at least once, maybe twice, more. When OJai and I didn't get on the season we applied for, we blogged as if we were running the race. TAR That Might Have Been. This is funny stuff people!

5. Marathon
My goal for 2008 is to run a full marathon.

(see there, I did it again)
Truth is, I only run when being chased...and even then I have to stop to consider if I could take whatever is chasing me. Running seems pointless to me, you spend all this time just to get back to where you started, it makes you sweat, it makes you hurt, you can't breathe...yeah, not for me. AT.ALL. (was that a *little known* fact?)

6. Chewing
I like to chew on things. Especially those plastic tags that hold the price tag on garments, you know the ones I'm talking about? I'm sure they have a name, but I have no idea what it is. It's just the price tag "thingy." Anyway, I save them so I have something to chew on.

God Speed...

If you're a pet person, you'll understand. If you're not a pet person, pretend like you understand!

In 1994, 13 years ago, I got a cute little kitten that was a puff ball of fur. I picked him because he was standing in the cage with these ENORMOUS green eyes, just staring at me [blink blink] "hi!" Honestly, it really was love at first sight.

He got the name Roo because he loved to chase a laser light and could jump to the top of a doorway, so he become Roo after the character in Winne The Pooh.

Roo fetched, and he taught *US* that he could do it. One Christmas we were eating mini Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and tossing the wrappers to the kitchen by the trash. Suddenly, all the ones we'd throw were back. Roo was running after them and bringing them back. What a good boy!

Roo had a special connection with my friend OJai, he loved her. I think it started when I was showing OJai just how smart Roo was and I tossed a foil ball over the couch where she was sitting. Roo, of course went for the ball, but apparently thought he could go through OJai to get it and smacked right into her knee. We laughed and laughed over that, heck we still do, but Roo sort of sat there, shook the cobwebs out and then looked at us and said "MowOWOW which of course meant, "go on then, throw it again."

Roo lived with me his whole life except for a short 2 year stay with my mom when my life was a little bit in limbo. Roo lived in northern California, Utah, and several places in southern California.

Roo talked to me...people, I'm not making this up. He was like a 2 year old, he'd talk back when I told him to do something he didn't like. If he wanted something he would look me in the eyes and say "MroooooWOOOWWOWWWOWWW." I generally got the meaning.

Roo made it very clear that he was king of the kingdom. He would sit on his "ups" (yes, that's what he called it, SERiously) and watch all the happenings. He would boss Beebo around and tell him what to do; fortunately, Beebo is pretty easy-going and humored him. In addition to his "ups" he had a big pillow that he laid on. Here is Beebo worshiping the ups, the thrown pillow and the remains of Roo. I'm sure Roo is very pleased with this turn of events!


Roo did not approve of my fostering kittens for the Burbank Animal Shelter, he couldn't understand why I would want more than just HIM in the house. When he started getting sick I called someone to talk to him to see if there was anything I could do for him that I wasn't. His comment? "She should take up a new hobby...like knitting!"

Roo's health has been ailing over the past 3 years and last week it got to the point where he was suffering. As hard as it was, I always said I wouldn't let him suffer.

I miss him!

This is a conversation that might take place in this picture.

Cimblog: Roo, I'm sorry you're not coming with me.
Roo: "Oh, me? What do you MEAN I'm not going?"
Roo: "Of COURSE I'm going. Now carry me, slave."

...that was mean!

This post should probably go under my funny chats, but I'm too lazy to put it there just now. So enjoy it here!

I'm going to be on vacation next week. Initially, not realizing it was Thanksgiving, I asked for a day and a half off and my boss said, "why bother coming in...take the whole week." I can't argue with THAT logic, wait...was there logic?!

So anticipation of my absence I sent out the following note to my SAP users.

Just wanted to let you know that if you need a PO next week...I won't be here.... at all.... not even a little... in fact, I might not even think about POs the entire week, if you can believe that.

My point is...yeeeeeeeeeeees, I have a point....

If you need POs you might want to get them to me today. I believe Kirsten will be here to do them in my absence if you can't/don't get them done today.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving!!!

Erika sent this:

I’m going to have so many for you today… you’re not going to believe it.

I responded:

Um....what I meant is...I'm leaving TODAY...I can't do POs TODAY.

Erika:

Really?

cimblog (tm)

no, not really....

Erika:

That was mean…

=P

cimblog(tm)

maybe, but it sure was funny

People, I am CRACKING myself up lately. Sorry Erika...you are a casualty of my filterless brain/mouth.

Inside Voice...

Funny things that might have been best left unsaid:

Hey cimblog (tm),

I need some medical advice.

My mom's getting a colonoscopy on Wednesday. Anything she should know about recovery? Any advice you have?

My response?

Colonoscopy is uncomfortable...but no sweat. Well, I take that back...it's hard not to sweat when there's a camera up your ass.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then, the other day was my friend Linda's birthday. Her sister and nephew came and we all spent the weekend together and went to brunch on Sunday. I was sharing my french toast with everyone, I'd put a bite on a fork and then hand the fork over. Then her nephew wanted a bite...but he was eating LIVER and ONIONS...BLECK.

Linda: Give Matthew a bite.
Cimblog: Want a bite?
Matthew: Yeah, okay.
Cimblog: Ok, but you have to use your own fork...I don't want your liver lips touching my fork.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subject: RE: Hewlett Packard inv 43183006

I’m having a problem with this one… they want to short pay, and sent me this really long voicemail as to the reason why. Want to hear it?

Best Regards,

My response:

Actually I don't. Sorry. Want to give me the gist?

Bottom line, we cannot short pay...no matter how long the voicemail is.

...so tired

We went to Sea World last weekend and on the way down we stopped at a rest area. Some people really take to heart the term "rest" area. Poor guy must have been SO tired!


Here's a couple of pictures from Linda's camera that I like.

After the water ride!

um...me?

Sea Anemony

Happy Trunk-or-Treat

Tonight was trunk-or-treat at the church. Laura had a great idea for group costumes. We were rejected beauty queens (and king).

mis·cre·ant /ˈmɪskriənt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[mis-kree-uhnt] –adjective

1.	depraved, villainous, or base.

Miss-Alaneous - Linda
Miss-Creant - Cim
Mister-Ected - Bryce
Miss-Tery - Laura

God Speed...

...it's confirmed, building(s) at Camp Hinckley have been lost.

W A R N I N G

This post is not for the faint-of-heart. If you think I am an angel STOP READING. That's all I'm going to say about that.

Still there? Don't say I didn't warn you.

This semester I've been taking Business Communications and Marketing. I hate marketing most of all, but the other day we had a quiz in my communication class. Here is one of the questions:

Which of the following methods is appropriate for conflict resolution?

I only remember 2 of the options at the moment but that will do.
1. Assume responsibility for members' respect and behavior.
2. Lighten a tense moment with a compliment or humor.

well making a joke or a false compliment in the middle of a tense moment is just stupid, and it pisses people off.

or does it?

I selected #1...take responsibility, learn from it, move on. Apparently, I was WRONG!!!

Seriously, WHO uses humor in a tense business situation? WHO?! Someone who wants to a knuckle sandwich, that's who! I can see this tactic working among friends or family...but not in a business situation.

So I told my friend OJai and this is the conversation we had after I vented to her.

OJai: ooooo nice...but how will we get to LAX on tues? you will be at work?
Cimblog: Well, I'd be willing to do it...for you....ANYTHING
OJai: woooooooooooooooooooooooo! p.s. your hair looks really nice today.
Cimblog: Dammit, that just pisses me off you know! heeeee
OJai: hahahahaha. ok ok ok...a man walks into a bar...
Cimblog: Listen HERE!

















Okay, so it's not exactly appropriate, but it suuuuuuuuure is FUNNY!

pfffftttt...thanks a lot communication class...you made me get a B on my quiz.

LA County Fair

I very nearly bought THIS at the fair. People, you have NO IDEA how close I was.
http://www.reposechair.com/products.html

It's a chair with a COMPLETE sound system for movies, games, music...anything. It was SO GREAT. They were showing X-Men and the bass did indeed "rattle" my bones.

I did not buy it because:
1. It was 11:00 at night and I might have just been comfortable sitting in it because my feet hurt
2. It was $250 (which I would have paid)
3. I had taken a Darvocet earlier, so I might have been high at the time

Another reason I did not buy it is it only works for one person. I mean we could all cram into the same chair, but how comf would that really be? Since *I* bought the chair, it would be ME sitting in it and you would have to listen to the movie with no rattled bones. That's just not very fun, is it?

ADD Moments...

This is a story from my good friend OJai. When we talk about ADD moments we describe them as "Look! A bird!" So, with that, I pass along this brilliant story....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a true story.

So I'm in a meeting with all the GSU leadership team this morning (that is most of the upper management, including me). We have just reached my items on the agenda so I start in with my spiel about effective vs. ineffective use of the Girl Scouts brand and why we need to update our logo and its uses. As I am passing out copies of a page from the GS of USA style guide, I happen to glance out the window. It went something like this...

Me: "So the major concern that GSUSA has about individual council logotypes is--hey!--hey, there's a peacock in the parking lot!!"

Seriously! There was a PEACOCK! Strolling casually through our parking lot!!

A PEACOCK, people! In the parking lot of an office park on 4500 South! (Apparently it lives next door.)

Me: [amidst hilarious laughter of leadership team] "Well. Um. Sorry, but that is not something I see every day. Anyhoo...back to service mark personalization issues..."

They found it doubly hilarious when I told them that "Look! A bird!" is my standard for describing all ADD-related distractions.

Best. ADD moment. Ever.
~~~~~~~~~~~

And on a related note, I sent her back this story.

You know...in my hometown one day, I was driving down MAIN STREET and a peacock sauntered into the street in front of me. So I stopped and waited....and waited...and waited...while it just stood there and looked at me.

Peacock: [blink blink]
cim: [blink blink] "shooo"

ACK....AAAAAAAAAACK!

So, I was thirsty... On the table was my cream soda from the day before. No big deal, it's only a day old, a little flat maybe, but it will certainly do the trick! Mmmmm, and I love cream soda! So, I picked it up and started drinking...until...I felt something...um...solid on my tongue, something that felt like a small wad of plastic. A little worried I reached in and pulled the offending mass off my tongue...IT WAS IN MY MOUTH



So that's not the EXACT bug from inside my mouth, but it sure looked a lot like that!

Linda: Well, serves you right for leaving your drink out for days.
Susuan: EW EW EW EW!
Cim: [thunk]

You say Beagle, I say Bagel

So I (very UNsuccessfully) belong to an internet dating site. I bought a lifetime membership which turned out to be a pretty decent investment since...well...you finish that (and BE NICE!).

Some of the profiles are hilarious and I don't think it's on purpose. One guy sent me his profile and under the "Perfect Day" section he said something like, "My perfect day would be waking up with the one I love, sitting reading the newspaper and having a cream cheese beagle."

Me: [blink, blink]

So, I responded...

Subject: A little help...
...not to be rude, but I'm wondering how your BEAGLE enjoys being slathered with cream cheese in the morning? I mean, if HE'S okay with it, I suppose I'm okay with it, but isn't he a little squirmy? Is there a lot of cleaning involved in the beagle cheesing? Have you tried branching out and tried, maybe, cream cheese Labradors or Poodles?

...but really, thanks for the profile and chuckle...

(bagel)

Woopsy-Daisy

This morning, on the way to the doctor, an accident happened right in front of me at the intersection of Buena Vista and Empire. A lady ran a red light and slammed into another car. In her defense, there was a big truck in front of her that got into the left turn lane right before the light, so I don't think she actually saw that it was red...but also? I think she wasn't paying attention. She was driving a light green Prius and she slammed right into a white Corolla and spun him around. I was hollering at her as she was driving through the red light "stoooooop, you're gonna hit that whiiiiiii......[thunk]" [shakes head]

I got on my cell and called 911, then I thought to myself
1. no one ever answers 911,
2. this isn't a CHP problem

So I hung up and dialed Burbank PD and told them what had happened and added at the end, "The green Prius ran the red light." heeeee.... poor lady.

Aaaaaah....

I just had a massage.

That? Feels FANTASTIC! I have to go lay down, now!

Doppelganger!

I got the following email from a friend of mine...

On Tue Sep 11 10:18:

Okay, I was walking out of the mall on Saturday and got a huge surprise when I saw < insert MY full given name here > walking across the parking lot holding hands with a 20-ish cute guy. Several thoughts went through my head—not in any order of significance:

· "Way to go, Cim! Young and cute"
· "Hey, how come Cim didn't tell me she was coming to Idaho?"
· "When did she cut her hair?"
· "Wow, he's cute. Just tell him to hitch up his pants a little more, kay?"

Sadly, it wasn't you, but I made me think about you all day so that's a plus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So then I responded:
"*I* have a doppleganger in Idaho? Excellent. Did I look FABULOUS, and was I walking slowly and a bit hunched over from the hysterectomy? Was I sweating from the menopause?

Oh, hi there...

Welcome to my new blog. This is much easier than trying to hand-code everything like before. Eventually I'll go back to my old blog, but for now, let's just have a seat here and rest. I can use it. It's been a rough year.

Let's discuss, shall we? You see, it all started about 10 months ago. Yes T E N M O N T H S ago. In November of last year I started to feel bad, like I was having kidney problems. In December I was in the hospital for, you guessed it, kidney problems. I had kidney stones for the better part of 5 months missing a lot of work and being in the hospital a whole lot! It was horrible, and just about the time I felt like I was better, WHAMO...smackdown to the hospital. Good times.

When I was finally feeling better I got a letter from the emergency department of the hospital. The letter stated that on my last CT Scan they had found a "pelvic mass" and I should have it checked "right away" and that if I didn't have a gynecologist then enclosed was a referral....to....the...woman's...cancer...center. [thunk]

I came-to three days later with my cat licking my face to try to wake me up and my roomba bumping against my head*. When I gained composure enough, I made the appointment and, trembling, went to the doctor. I'm going to cut to the chase here, I had 7 fibroids which needed to come out. That left me with 2 options; go in and take them knowing that once you make a fibroid your chances to make them again is better than 50%...or to have a hysterectomy. I opted for the hysterectomy because I have enough things wrong with my innards that I might as well just remove the ones I'm not using and have little hope of using any time soon.

So, I had the surgery on 7/30/2007 and it was worse than they thought. The doctor came out to talk to my family and used words like "mess" and "cemented" which...last time I checked you didn't want those words thrown around about your innards; I'm just sayin'. About 2 weeks after the surgery I had 5 (yes you heard me right) kidney stones, two of which landed me back at the hospital. *Sheesh*

It's been about 5 weeks and I just got back to work yesterday. I'd been working part time from home for 2 weeks prior, so that was a nice diversion. So, on to normal life, I say!

*Um, I don't own a roomba, nor was I on the floor for 3 days.